


Broken Half

by FennyBoi



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Established Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Everyone is grieving, Hiccup blames himself, Ruffnut is dead, Self-Esteem Issues, So much angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Warnings on sensitive chapters, grieving process, will get better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-10 17:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15296412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FennyBoi/pseuds/FennyBoi
Summary: On a mission gone wrong, Ruffnut is killed. The riders now have to deal with the loss of one of their own while trying to keep their family together. Takes place soon after the Second Movie.





	1. The First Night

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for awhile ever since I had the dream where one of the twins die. Just know, I fucking love Ruffnut and for story sake, I had to kill her. However, I hope to include a lot of her in flashbacks and just know... I'm sorry!
> 
> This story mostly will follow Tuffnut and Hiccup but if you want to see how one of the others is handling it just leave a review and I'll attempt to include more of them. Now that the introduction is done though, here we go.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”   
― Anne Lamott

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The riders were tense as they returned back to the New Edge. No words were spoken between them as Toothless and Hiccup landed first, leaping off of Toothless as he turned to watch the others. Astrid, of course, was next, a solemn look on her face, while Fishlegs and Snotlout landed next. The Zippleback took its time to land, the movement off and slow as the dragon landed in a heap. Not even bothering to move as it curled up. It's singular rider falling off of it as he stood away from the group. 

Hiccup knew he should say something, anything, but words escaped him as he looked over at the empty saddle on Belch. He always knew that what they did was dangerous but he never expected, no, he hoped he wouldn't see the day where they had to bury one of their own. It was Astrid though that walked up to Tuffnut first. Her gaze solemn and intense as she went to rest a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

Before she could though he pulled away, an arm coming up to wipe at his face, a sniffle being heard. 

"Tuffnut, I-I'm so sorry. If I had known that it was a trap, I-I would have neve-" Hiccup started. 

"Don't." Was the one-word reply as Tuffnut finally turned to look at them. His eyes were puffy and tears streaked his face but he was surprisingly strong as he looked up to meet Hiccups eyes, "Just, it's not your fault." Was his only reply before he turned and walked away. Barf following his movements while the other head just remained curled up. 

The other riders didn't make attempts to follow however they all looked to Hiccup once Tuffnut was out of sight. A moment passed between them before finally the leader looked back at them, "Everyone, everyone get some rest." He finally sighed. 

"Not sure if I can do that after... that." Snotlout supplied but the shortest one still was the first to leave. His dragon, Hookfang following. 

Fishlegs didn't say anything but he also started to head towards his hut. Hardly noticing as Meatlug trailed behind, the dragon turned to look at Barf and Belch before back at her retreating rider. Finally, she also started to follow leaving only Astrid and Hiccup together. Now alone though Hiccup practically collapsed onto his knees as he let out an uncharacteristic viking curse. 

"First my Father and now Ruffnut, how many- how many more people that I love, are going to die?" He cried, causing Toothless to nuzzle against him and Astrid to bend down and pull him into a hug. "I know- I know Hiccup, but you have to be strong. We'll get over this. I-I promise." Astrid assured giving Hiccup a small smile but her bloodshot eyes and the tear that escaped proved that she wasn't as strong as she wanted to be.

Still Hiccup leaned into her embrace as he took a shuddering breath, "We should return to Berk tomorrow. To inform Ruffn- the Thorston family and prepare, prepare the service." He said, slipping into leader mode as he started to view it instead like a mission. Astrid understood though, it was his way to cope, his only way to cope. 

"I'll stay up and do a perimeter to make sure nobody followed us. New Edge isn't as secure as it could be and..."

"I know Astrid. I'll relieve you of your shift later. Good... good luck." Hiccup said mutely. Nothing more had to be said however as the two broke off going their separate ways. Looking up at the twins- or Tuffnuts hut- he wasn't surprised to see a single light on. 

He doubted anyone would get any sleep tonight.


	2. The Morning After

The first rays of dawn came too soon for the Riders of Berk. Hiccup was already outside preparing for the flight back to Berk while he allowed Astrid to sleep a bit longer. She had finally gotten to sleep almost an hour before daybreak so he knew she needed the rest. Soon he was joined by Fishlegs, Meatlug trailing behind him as he petted her. His hair was a mess but Fishlegs didn't seem to care as he sat down near Hiccup. 

"You get any rest?" Hiccup inquired after making sure he packed more than enough spares for him and Toothless. Toothless just let him however as the Alpha Dragon looked past him at the Snappleback. The twins dragon had stayed out all night. Laying where they had landed when they had returned. Hiccup had attempted to try to lead it inside when he took over Astrid's shift but the dragon didn't budge. Hiccup wisely decided to leave it alone after it had snapped at him. 

"No," Fishlegs responded, kicking his feet from where he was sitting before realizing what he was doing and stilling his movements. "I just... I kept seeing her." The other boy admitted which caused Hiccup to pause in his movements. "Why... why did we never make any armour for ourselves. We could have fastened some... some gronkle armour or... dragon scale armour. Maybe from the Screaming Death or..." Fishlegs broke off. 

"That, yeah we, better armour." Hiccup agreed. Pulling away from Toothless shakily as he turned to give a comforting smile at Fishlegs. "We can come up with some ideas after the..." he couldn't finish that statement though and instead let it hang. 

He could blame it on seeing the approaching form of Astrid but he knew he just, wasn't ready, he couldn't admit it yet. Smiling at her he stood up straighter, "Astrid, good morning." He called alerting Fishlegs to her approach as the bigger boy stood. They both shared a look of mutual understanding as Astrid just walked past them looking out across the beach and out into the open sea. 

"Tuffnut wasn't in his hut." She informed. 

"What? Where could he have gone? We have to find him!" Hiccup said immediately rushing over to Toothless. Crawling onto the dragon and getting a determined look on his face. Astrid wasn't as fast as him but he could already see Stormfly walking towards her. 

"Snotlout was the one who figured it out. He's already looking for Tuffnut on Hookfang." She relayed.

"He couldn't have gotten far without a dragon. I'll check the lower beach." Fishlegs offered before flying off towards the beach with Meatlug. Astrid just nodded before crawling onto Stormfly. 

"He probably just wants to be left alone." She said giving Hiccup a pointed look. He sighed before shaking his head. 

"I still don't think he should be alone. We should find him to make sure he is okay." He said, feeling his heart sink at the thought of finding him hurt. Tuffnut always seemed to attract danger at every turn and with how distracted he most likely was when he headed out. Hiccup was already expecting the worst as he and Toothless lifted off in the air. 

He would find him. He wouldn't lose another. Never again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Snotlout that found him first. Spotting the familiar discarded helmet of his friend only to find him a few feet off. Huddled under a rock, staring at Snotlout which made him wonder briefly how long the twin knew he was there. That thought was quickly discarded though as Snotlout raced towards Tuffnut. Pulling him into a desperate hug, his heart hammering as he awkwardly held the other male. 

Snotlout never wanted to leave Tuffnuts side last night but he had accidentally fallen asleep and it was around that time that the twin slipped away. Of course, he never made it obvious that he was watching Tuffnut although he couldn't help but wonder if he knew. The twins always seemed to have a seventh sense when it came to knowing when they were being observed. But this wasn't them preparing a prank or trying to avoid doing work. 

This... this was all wrong and why hadn't Tuffnut said anything yet. He was still holding him wasn't he, "Tuffnut?" Snotlout finally managed to squeak out. 

"Hm?" Came the grunted reply. Tuffnut surprising Snotlout as he nuzzled into his chest, his eyes hidden underneath his braids. Snotlout started applying soothing circles on his back as he came upon the realization that he really didn't know what to ask. Or what to say. 

What could he say? 

He had never lost someone before. Especially someone so close, the closest he could think of to relate would be his father. The thought of losing his father was absolutely devastating which was why this was so hard. He didn't do these emotions, he didn't know what to say. 

It turns out he didn't have to say anything however as he heard Hiccup calling for Tuffnut. "He's over here!" He called out, ignoring the way Tuffnut's grip on him tightened before he felt the other Viking pull away. This oddly enough hurts the other Viking as he grabbed his hand before he could pull completely away. 

"Hey, don't, I just... I don't know what to do to help you. Hiccup will know what to do." He promised confidently. To his surprise, Tuffnut finally turned to look at him. The first time he looked someone in the eye after it happened. Snotlout was taken aback by the look in his eye. 

Fear. 

Why would he be afraid though? Snotlout pondered unable to piece through it. He didn't have to think long about it though as Toothless finally landed and Hiccup hurried towards them. 

"Tuffnut! I was worried sick! Are you okay, why did you run off?" Hiccup rapid-fired questions as Snotlout pulled away. Standing to the side as he watched Tuffnut slowly get to his feet as well. 

"I'm fine." Tuffnut responded curtly, studying the ground as he refused to look at Hiccup, "Are we heading back to Berk now?" He asked.

"Yeah, we're heading out whenever you're read-"

"I'm ready." Tuffnut interrupted before he suddenly froze. An unreadable expression on his face as he hesitantly kicked at the ground. 

"I-I don't want to ride Barf and Belch." He admitted softly. Wincing at his own words as he realized what he said. Hiccup, however, understood why and was about to offer him to ride with him when Snotlout raced forward again. 

"You can ride with me and Hookfang! I'll show you how a real dragon flies!" He suggested with a grin clapping him on the back. A quick glare from Hiccup made him realize that perhaps he should have had more tact but to his surprise, Tuffnut gave a small smile. It didn't reach his eyes and wasn't the crooked one he was used to but it was still a smile. 

"Okay." 

Ignoring his awkwardness he just smiled back as he pulled Tuffnut into another hug. Tuffnut didn't hug back but when he pulled back he didn't seem upset and followed Snotlout to Hookfang. 

Hiccup watched the exchange before shaking his head, "I'll... go find the others. Meet us at the pass and we'll head back together." He ordered before turning to leave.


	3. Back to Berk

The ride back was surprisingly quiet as the riders rode in the familiar formation. Hiccup wanted to take Barf and Belch with them but the dragon had stayed behind. Making sure it had plenty to eat, they vowed to return soon as they left the dragon behind. Hiccup, however, found himself, concerned. The concern of course going towards Tuffnut who currently was holding onto Snotlout, a neutral expression on his face.

That's what worried Hiccup. Besides, when it first happened, Tuffnut had simply been numb, responding to questions but only in short, curt responses. Chicken had also been sleeping away from the trickster Viking, which was also incredibly worrying. He knew it was just too soon to say much though. He just, expected more of a freak out from Tuffnut, not this docile and soft-spoken version of him. 

Shaking his heads of those thoughts though he patted Toothless on the head as he saw the island approach. Everyone would be glad to see the chieftan return but they couldn't know that he would be returning with one less teammate. One less Berkian. Sure enough, people were already gathering as they spotted the riders approach. Looking back at the others though, Hiccup hesitated before leading them down. "Astrid, Fishlegs, land with me. Snotlout, land... in the academy, yeah in the academy." He ordered.

Astrid and Fishlegs nodded understanding what he was doing, however, as usual, Snotlout was oblivious to the plan. "What? Why? They all seem happy to see us and ooo! Oh, my dads down there too!" He exclaimed. 

"You can meet with us later, I think its best if you give us some time to explain... you know," Hiccup repeated. 

"That Ruffnut is dead?"

Silence. 

All eyes turned to Tuffnut as he said that, the way he spoke the words being so plain despite the harshness. He hadn't moved from his hold on Snotlout but Hiccup noticed the twins clenched fists on Snotlouts shirt. He was aggravated, which was exactly what Hiccup was trying to avoid. He was trying to make this easier for him. 

"Oh." 

It was Snotlout's realization that broke the tense silence that followed but not much could be done now. Instead, Hiccup decided to address Tuffnut, choosing his words carefully as he knew that his friend was tense. "I'm sorry, I should have asked you instead. Tuff, do... you want to tell them? You don't have to. I'm giving you the option to be elsewhere so you don't have to deal with the initial reaction." Hiccup explained. Knowing the twins did well if you explain it explicitly to them. "I only offered to send you their cause I assumed you wouldn't want to relive, retelling the story." Hiccup also added. 

He met Tuffnut's eyes briefly before the twin shifted his weight on Hookfang, looking down at the people below. Studying them as he tapped his fingers on the dragons back. Hookfang being surprisingly patient, despite the dragon not being one for allowing annoyances to slide. "I'll go down." He said finally after a moment. 

"If it's ever too much you can walk away at any moment," Fishlegs added.

"One of us can fly you out or we'll cover you as you get away." Astrid also offered. 

"I'll... stick by your side the whole time." Snotlout concluded. Looking back and trying to give the twin a comforting smile. He felt bad for not catching onto Hiccups plan and vowed to make up for it by watching Tuff as they landed. It's the least he could do, not just cause he messed up but because Tuff was his best friend. Official best friend. 

"Okay lets go then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Gobbler that first noticed the solemn look of the riders as the village went to meet them. The man first took notice of the missing dragon and upon only seeing one of a frightening pair, it didn't take him much to figure out what may have happened. He prayed to Thor he was wrong. 

The story itself, however, was tense as Hiccup explained what happened. The riders had found the Hunters on the island like they had expected, finding a new type of dragon and then... how it all went wrong. There was a tense silence as the new Chief admitted officially that Ruffnut Thorston, did not make it. 

A dragon rider had officially been killed and the people seemed shaken as they all took time to process that. Hiccup tried to sneak glances at Tuff to see how he was doing but with the way he landed, Stormfly blocked most of him and then Snotlout blocked his only window. It was frustrating but he vowed to check on him afterwards. Once everyone started to speak again, he raised his voice, "I ask for you to give support to the Thorston Family in this trying time as well as attend the funeral at Dusk." He finished. 

Before he could even regroup though he was shocked as he watched a few people rush at where Tuff and Snotlout was, demanding questions and unconsciously surrounding him. This was when he first got a good luck at Tuff as the male stepped back from the crowd, clearly overwhelmed. This angered him as pushing through the crowd he put his hands up as he snarled at them, "Give him space!" He demanded which caused a few to back off but others who didn't yet accept his leadership just rolled their eyes. The biggest being Spitelout. 

"We're just making sure the boy is okay. I've never seen the twins without well, them both. I just want to see how he is taking it." He said, making it sound so logical even though Hiccup knew that it was all wrong. 

"Well don't." He demanded. Before any more could be said though he heard Hookfang rise into the air. Meeting Snotlout's eye he gave a nod as he realized what the Viking was doing. Watching them fly off to the Academy, he took a deep breath before shooting a quick glare at those around him. "The last thing Tuffnut needs is people treating him like a fascinating new specimen. He is in grief and I ask, no I demand you give him space. If I hear that any of you made him uncomfortable, I will personally see to it that you are punished." He announced before turning and stalking off towards the meade hall. 

Gobbler watched him leave with pride, knowing that Stoick would be proud as he slowly followed. Although Hiccup wanted to make sure Tuffnut was okay, he knew he had to deal with his chief duties first. However looking over he wasn't surprised to see his friends getting onto their dragons and following the direction, the other two had gone. 

Good. If there was anything Tuffnut needed at the moment. It was to know that his friends were still there for him. That he was not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think soon I will include a segment focusing on Tuffnut's emotions but for now, its gonna stay with the others. Don't worry, you're gonna find out real soon, just how Tuffnut is taking it. 
> 
> Also leave a review of what you think. I have an idea of how I want this story to go so if I can, I'm gonna try to update it at least daily.


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